Waiting on Love Read online

  Birdie gave a flippant shrug, then handed her a small writing tablet. “Here’s your order pad. Table one and five are waiting for you.”

  Good grief. There had to be another job out there. Maybe she’d overlooked some place that was hiring. A store or restaurant with a friendlier boss where she’d receive at least a hint of training. If she could even book a corporate party that would help. Two corporate parties would take care of all her Christmas expenses. She’d put in leads all over the county, but no responses yet. That wasn’t true. A school did express interest in a fundraiser, but not until the spring which wouldn’t help her now.

  She forced a smile to her face, reminding herself to be grateful for the opportunity. Sure, the job wasn’t ideal, but it would help her accomplish her goals. She wouldn’t let one sourpuss boss ruin it for her. Sticking out her chin, she made her way to table one. Thank goodness for the metal plaques screwed on to the end of each table so she didn’t have to guess which table was which.

  An elderly couple sat at the table. The woman neatly unfolded a napkin and placed it on her lap.

  Tanya introduced herself. “This is my first day, so please forgive me in advance if I mess up.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do fine, darling.” The lady cast her an understanding smile.

  Images of Gran materialized. She had that same encouraging quality as the customer demonstrated. “What drinks can I start you off with today?”

  “Coffee for both of us, two creamers on the side.” The man winked at his wife. “And some sugar for my sugar.”

  The lady rolled her eyes and giggled. “Fifty years of marriage and he still makes the same joke everytime we go out to eat.”

  Their uplifting attitude was infectious, and a genuine smile spread across her lips. “It’s sweet. I’ll be right back with your coffee.”

  She went behind the counter where the large coffee pots were. Where were the cups? And the creamer? She turned around to search for them and bumped into a girl close to her in age who wore the same uniform.

  “You must be Tanya, the new girl.” Dimples showed in her cheeks when she smiled. “I’m Jasmine.”

  Nodding, Tanya caught a scowl from Birdie. “Where are the coffee cups and creamer?”

  “Under the counter.” Jasmine bent down and showed her a tray of heavy plastic cups and a mini refrigerator full of creamers, salad dressing packets, and individual slabs of butter wrapped in gold foil. She stood, then leaned in to whisper. “Don’t let Birdie intimidate you. She’ll train you on your next shift, but she likes to see how her employees do on their own. Consider it a weird initiation rite or something.”

  She wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse. “And if I fall on my face tonight?”

  “You’ll do great. Just keep a smile on your face and serve the customers the best you can. If you need anything, just ask, and I’ll help.”

  “Thanks.”

  Jasmine bounced away, and Tanya grabbed two cups and poured coffee into them. She took two saucers from the stack beside the mini fridge, and set the cups on them, along with two spoons. Opened the fridge and removed two creamers. She started back toward the table but remembered about the sugar. Returning to the counter, she scouted out the small, plastic rectangular boxes filled with sugar and artificial sweeteners. She added one to her tray.

  While she took the older couple’s order, she noticed the man’s hands shaking as he tried to open the creamer. Without fanfare, his wife gave his hand a squeeze, then opened the creamer for him. It was a small gesture, but the sweetness of it warmed Tanya. She swallowed the lump of sentiment in her throat before she asked what sides the woman wanted with her chopped steak.

  After she had written down their complete order, she dropped the slip of paper off in the kitchen, only to realize she’d forgotten about table five. Oh no. First day and I’ve already messed up. She recited a quick prayer that the patrons wouldn’t be upset for the extended wait.

  She rushed to the booth, at a speed just short of running, and came to an abrupt stop. Good, only one person. Fewer people to have irritated. “I’m sorry for your wait. What can I get you to drink, and if you’re ready, I can take your order now as well.”

  The customer glanced up, every strand of his sandy blonde hair perfectly in place.

  Tanya froze.

  This wasn’t happening. She hadn’t seen him in years, yet she saw those vivid blue eyes every time she looked at her daughter. Lacy had her brown hair and fair complexion, even her too-slanted nose, but her eyes undoubtedly came from her father.

  Scott looked at her with as much surprise as she imagined showed on her own face. “You work here?”

  “No, I just go around taking orders for the fun of it.” The shock of seeing him lent bitterness to her sharp reply.

  He put his hands up. “Sorry, dumb question.”

  Foregoing all the courtesies that her job required, she put a hand on her hip. “Why are you in town?”

  “I moved back.”

  Her knees turned to pudding, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing her legs were unstable. Somehow she managed to stay upright without any support. “You what?”

  His teeth grazed his bottom lip for a second before speaking again. “Can we talk?”

  This is cute. Real cute. She sucked in a long, calming breath as to not make a scene in the restaurant. “We have nothing to talk about.”

  A single brow arched. “Our daughter?”

  “In almost seven years, you’ve done nothing more than send a monthly check.” She heard the bell ring, indicating an order was ready. It couldn’t be the elderly couple’s already, but it presented the perfect opportunity to escape. “I have to get back to work. What can I get you?”

  “You’re clearly uncomfortable with me here, but to be fair, I had no idea I’d see you here.” He folded his hands. “It’s probably easier if I eat somewhere else.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Probably.”

  “I still want to talk. Please.”

  A heavy sigh lingered in her lungs. She owed it to Lacy to find out what Scott wanted. “Can you meet tomorrow at ten?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll meet you at Centennial Park at ten.”

  Scott grabbed a napkin from the dispenser. “Do you have a pen?”

  She handed him a blue ballpoint from her apron pocket.

  After writing on the napkin, he stood and gave it to her. “Here’s my number if anything changes.”

  “Don’t be late. I have somewhere to be at eleven.” So what if that place to be was the toy store so she could put Lacy’s present on layaway. Scott didn’t need to know it wasn’t an urgent matter.

  “I won’t. Thank you.”

  Her gaze followed him out the door as all the air left her lungs.

  Could today be any more trying? Scratch that, I don’t want to know.

  Chapter Three

  He checked the time on his phone. A quarter past ten. Time slipped away, her tardiness encroaching on their time to talk. Had she changed her mind? She could have given him the courtesy of a phone call. Granted, he’d not given her or their daughter very much consideration for the last seven years. He called the latest number he had for her house phone. Disconnected.

  Why hadn’t he asked for her cell number? He could have called her and verified she’d canceled instead of sitting on a bench wondering if she’d show. If she thought he’d give up this easily, she was wrong. He had to speak with her. If she believed his idea wasn’t in Lacy’s best interest, then he’d leave it alone, but he would still ask for visitation. He wanted—needed—to be a part of his daughter's life.

  Movement in the distance caught his attention. Tanya walked toward him. She appeared taller than she had six years ago—that last time he’d seen her—or perhaps it was her confident gait. Despite her obvious shock last night, she had a sureness about her which hadn’t existed back when she’d been a timid teenager, uncertain of her place in the
world.

  Her vulnerability attracted him to her, made him want to protect her and shield her from the remnants of pain she carried from her parents’ abandonment. He’d fancied himself in love with her. It wasn’t true love. Had it been, he wouldn’t have run off to college and abandoned her and their daughter. A hypocrite—that’s what he’d been.

  As she came closer, his attention focused on her burgundy sweater and how it made her gray eyes pop. Raising a child alone hadn’t aged her physically beyond her years. Her skin still had a youthful, vibrant glow, and her face reflected maturity that accentuated her beauty. Again, his gaze went to her eyes.

  A mingling of curiosity, annoyance, and anger stared back at him. “Sorry I’m late.”

  He stood to greet her and stretched out an arm. “I’m just glad you came.”

  “I wasn’t sure I would.” She ignored his hand and sat on the bench.

  “I appreciate that you did.” He sat beside her, careful not to crowd her personal space.

  Bending over, she tugged the hem of her jeans down over her boot. When she sat upright, she looked him in the eyes. “Why are you here?”

  “Lacy.”

  Undisguised suspicion filled her eyes below raised brows. “What about Lacy?”

  A whoosh whistled from his lips. “I want to be a part of her life.”

  Tanya snorted. “A little late for that, isn’t?”

  “Is it ever too late to do the right thing?” He held his breath, unsurprised by her resistance, but hoping she’d give him a chance.

  “What has changed? Why now when you’ve wanted nothing to do with our daughter since the day she was born.” She clenched her fists. “You weren’t even there the day she was born.”

  He flinched hearing the horrible truth. “I owe you and Lacy an apology. I was irresponsible and a jerk for my behavior. There’s nothing I can say to make it right, but I want you to know I’m truly sorry.”

  “‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t cut it.” Her eyes narrowed to tiny squints. “Did you suddenly gain a conscience? Because it’s obvious you didn’t have one before?”

  “In a manner of speaking, yes.” He inhaled, praying silently for the strength to continue. “I’m not the same person I was seven years ago, not even a year ago.”

  Her foot tapped the ground, crunching a bed of leaves. “Neither am I. Having a child changes you.” She gave him a pointed glare. “Or it should.”

  “I get your anger. I’ll even go so far as to say I deserve it.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Trust me, there’s not much you can say to me that I haven’t said to myself.”

  Something in his tone or words must have reached through to her. She relaxed her jaw. “Are you going to tell me what prompted the change or not?”

  “Earlier in the year, a coworker invited me to church. In twenty-five years, I’d never stepped foot inside of one except for a wedding or funeral.”

  “I remember. Whenever I asked you to come, you didn’t even bother with an excuse, you simply said no.” Sadness flickered across her eyes.

  He fixed his gaze to the last golden leaves clinging to a cherry tree. “I can’t even say why I said yes to my coworker. I guess I always thought once I graduated and started my career, I’d feel fulfilled, but I didn’t. Something was missing.”

  “Your daughter?” The two words held no malice, only regret of what hadn’t been.

  “Yes, but there was more to it.” He shifted his position. “Guilt ate at me every day, but I didn’t feel worthy to be Lacy’s dad. How could I, when I’d run from her? I was broken, and thought I needed to be fixed before I approached you.”

  “You’re here now. Does that mean whatever was wrong, is fixed?”

  “You could say that, except I realized I didn’t need to wait. I don’t know if, subconsciously, it was an excuse, but I know God has perfect timing.”

  Her eyes widened. “God?”

  “I’m a Christian now, Tanya. I want to live the right way, and that includes making amends with you and Lacy.”

  “That’s great news. I’m happy that you found faith in Christ.” Her eyes didn’t reflect the smile on her face. “What do you want from Lacy and me?”

  “I want to know my daughter.”

  “I always told myself that I’d put my daughter’s needs first, and if you ever wanted to be involved in her life, I’d put aside my feelings about you and allow it.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “If you recall, you have visitation rights, even if you never used them.”

  Ouch. “I want more than visitation.”

  Fear momentarily darkened her eyes. “I have full custody. No judge would take that away from me.”

  “I’m not asking for that.”

  “Then what are you asking for if not visitation or custody?” She rubbed her arm, and he wondered if she was conscious of the gesture.

  “What I should have done when you told me you were pregnant.” He took a long drag of the cool autumn air and released it slowly. “Marry you and have a real family.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No. I’ve missed too much of my daughter’s life. I don’t want to be a part-time dad.”

  “You made the choice to not be involved in her life. You have no one to blame but yourself.” She jumped from the bench, her face fiery red. “You can’t waltz back into our lives and propose such a preposterous idea.”

  “I know it’s crazy, but think about it.” He stood to be at the same level as her. “You can move out of your little townhouse and quit the job at the restaurant, spend that time with Lacy. I bought a house on Birch Street, with a large fenced-in yard. It’s perfect for a family.”

  Her face colored to a deeper shade of red. “So now you’re insulting the life I’ve made for Lacy? You don’t think it’s good enough? Ha!”

  Oh great. “That’s not how I meant—”

  She shook a finger at him, cutting off his defense. “I’ll have you know, that Lacy’s never wanted for anything. I’ve worked myself to the bones to make a good life for her. Our house might not be fancy, but it’s cozy and suits us. And the job at the restaurant is only for the Christmas season, but even if it wasn’t, there’s nothing wrong with waitressing to earn money. It’s an honest living.”

  “You’re twisting my words.” He dared to lay a hand on her forearm, and she jerked away. “You’ve been a great mom to Lacy. I wasn’t insulting anything about the life you’ve provided for her.”

  “Sure did sound like it.” She crossed her arms in a gesture protective of herself.

  “I promise that wasn’t my intention. But I do know the type of person you are—some things never change.” He touched her arm again, and this time, she didn’t move. “You were born to be a mother. I know you dreamed of a perfect family, down to the white picket fence. If you had your choice, your evenings would be spent at home, not working. I can give you that dream.”

  Her lips trembled. “That’s all it was. A dream. Then I had Lacy and woke up to the reality of being a single mom.”

  “We can make a new reality.” He was losing her. He saw it in her eyes.

  “Too much time has passed.” Sadness bent her mouth downward. “We can work out a visitation schedule, even work up to weekend visits. But marriage isn’t going to happen.”

  “Please just think about it.” He stepped backward, releasing his touch. “Pray about it.”

  She shook her head. “I have to go. We’ll be in touch about visitation. I need to talk to Lacy first and tell her about you.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Goodbye.” In slow motion, she turned and left.

  Disappointment crushed him. The resolve on Tanya’s face was absolute. He’d known it was a crazy idea, but he’d been so sure it’s what God wanted. She’s not opposed to visitation. I have that at least, which is probably more than I deserve.

  Chapter Four

  Tanya paced the length of her brother’s living room on Saturday morning. “Can you believe the nerve of
him?”

  “He really asked you to marry him?” Madison, her sister-in-law, stared at her in disbelief. “After all this time?”

  “Yes.” She paused and furrowed her brows. “He said it’s what he should have done seven years ago. Marriage then would have been a huge mistake—now, an even bigger one. It’s not like we live in a time anymore when an unplanned pregnancy has to result in a wedding.”

  “Did you love him?”

  “Does any seventeen-year-old know what love is?” Tanya sank down on the sofa with a sigh. “In my youthful naivety, yes—I guess I did love him.”

  Madison sat on the opposite end of the sofa. “Did he love you?”

  A bitter laugh came out. “No. He said he did, but if it were true, he wouldn’t have left like he did.”

  “Have you told Lacy that he’s back?”

  “No. She’s with my parents today. I thought I’d wait until tonight.” She leaned back and banged the rear of her head against the sofa.

  “What do you think her reaction will be?” Creases of concern formed on Madison’s forehead.

  “She’ll be ecstatic.” A smile for her daughter appeared. “Lacy is an eternal optimist. I’m not sure whom she inherited that trait from, but she looks for the best in everyone. It wouldn’t even occur to her to be angry at Scott.”

  “She’s such a sweetheart. I love having her as a niece.” Madison grinned.

  “And she adores you.” For a moment, Tanya forgot about Scott and laughed. “She’s always asking to go see Aunt Mads. I think you’ve replaced Landon as her favorite.”

  “Shh.” Madison put a finger to her lips and winked. “Archer says he’s her favorite.”

  “That could be true too. She’s lucky to have all of you in her life.” Tanya glanced around the room. “Where is my brother? I thought he’d be here.”

  “Men’s breakfast at the church.”

  “That’s right. I forgot all about it.” She reached for her purse on the end table and retrieved a pack of mints. After popping one in her mouth, she offered the tin to Madison.

  “Thanks.” Madison took one and returned the pack. “Back to Scott—did he apologize for his actions? Please tell me he did.”