Their First Noelle Read online

  He attempted conversation. “How were your travels?”

  “Just fine, thank you.”

  “Mother Louisa has already arranged for the wedding to take place this afternoon. How about you, Mother and Mollie go have a meal at the restaurant and I’ll meet you there once I gather your trunk,” Lucas offered.

  “I don’t have a trunk.” Noelle’s cheeks were tinged with a blush. “Everything I have is right here.” She pointed to a larger carpetbag resting on the ground.

  “Then let’s go eat. We can’t have a wedding on empty stomachs, can we?” He hoped Noelle couldn’t see through his forced smile. Picking up the bag with one hand, he used his free arm to offer support to Noelle. The uncertainty eased from her face. Tentatively, she slipped her arm through his and cast an adoring gaze upon him, making him feel like a cad.

  Again, he berated himself for not taking the time to read the letters. This marriage might not have been his idea, but he did agree to it. And in his denial the previous night, he’d put himself at a disadvantage by not knowing what the letters contained. This woman was a complete stranger to him, but she knew plenty about him.

  By Noelle’s glances towards him, he sensed she was already in love with him and at the first opportunity he must clear up this misunderstanding. He’d honor this marriage, but on his terms and through complete honesty. Which meant he must make it clear that love was not to be an option. No matter that overwhelming urge to protect his future wife and quell any insecurity she was feeling.

  The noon meal was a brief affair. Mollie carried the conversation with her constant chatter. Lucas loved his daughter— she was his entire world. Without her, he didn’t want to think what he would have done when Bessie died. Mollie with her youthful exuberance, so full of life, energy, and eternal optimism, kept the spark of joy alive inside of him.

  Carefully, he observed the interaction between Mollie and Noelle. His daughter talked incessantly and sometimes it could be overwhelming. However, Noelle showed no sign of annoyance. Rather, she seemed entranced by his daughter. Her eyes lit up with laughter when Mollie relayed her various escapades, and Lucas felt those tugs at his heart again.

  On their way, walking to the church, Mollie still continued her talking. “I’m so glad Grandmother wrote those letters to you, Miss Noelle. You’re the best Christmas present.”

  Everyone ceased movement and froze in their spots.

  “You mean your Pa wrote the letters?” Noelle’s face contorted in confusion, but aware something was amiss.

  “No, Pa said he never wanted a wife, but Grandmother and I knew better, so we found you for him,” Mollie continued innocently, unaware of the damaging effect of her words.

  “Mollie, I think that’s enough,” Lucas said sternly. Probably a little too harshly since Mollie wasn’t the one to blame.

  “So…So all those letters were a lie?” Noelle’s bottom lip trembled.

  “Everything I wrote about my son-in-law’s character is true,” Mother Louisa spoke up.

  “Except you didn’t really want me. All those words of love and future family were a lie, correct?” Noelle directed her question toward Lucas.

  Lucas’ silence spoke volumes. The tears were pooling in her eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to validate the truth she wanted to hear.

  “Excuse me.” She ran off.

  “I’ll go after her and explain everything.” Mother Louisa took a step.

  “No, I think you’ve done enough,” Lucas snapped and sprinted in the direction Noelle had run, praying he reached her before she became lost in this unfamiliar town.

  ***

  There was a small plot of land behind Main Street that hosted a community garden managed by the General Store during the spring and summer months. Families who were facing hard times were free to help themselves to the bounty in exchange for helping tend to it. It was an innovative idea to help the less fortunate while allowing them to maintain their pride by not having to accept charity. The garden was barren so close to Christmas and a light layer of snow covered the ground. At the entrance was an iron bench, which Noelle sat on.

  Tears streamed down her face- tears of embarrassment, hurt, and wistfulness. All her dreams of a loving family had been dashed in the innocent words of a five-year-old. How could she marry someone who hadn’t been expecting her, let alone wanted her? Moving west was supposed to be a new beginning, a chance for happiness again. What would she do now? She must face this situation, but first she needed a good cry.

  The worst part was that she loved Lucas. The moment he took her hand in his, she knew her heart was lost. He was a handsome man, for sure. He was taller than most men she’d known back east and certainly more fit. His frame spoke of hard work while his deep green eyes were filled with love every time he looked at his daughter. His entire countenance softened when dealing with his Mollie.

  Would she ever have a chance to know that love? Confusion tore her apart. If Lucas had never wanted to marry again, why had he agreed to marry her? Surely if he had no intentions of marrying her, he would have voiced them by now. Could she even marry him knowing that she wasn’t wanted? She’d spent half of her life being discarded and she did not relish the idea of entering a lifelong covenant with someone who didn’t want her.

  But if they didn’t marry what would she do? She had no money, no family, and no friends, save Mrs. Broadmoor. Maybe, if she could find a way to survive the next few weeks, she could get a message to her new friend. Perhaps there was another man in this area looking for a wife. A man who genuinely wanted a wife. Wiping the last tear from her face, she felt marginally better. It wasn’t much of a plan, but at least she’d thought of someone.

  “May I sit down?” A deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

  She knew to whom the voice belonged without having to turn around. Sliding to one edge of the bench, she patted the other side in invitation.

  “I’m afraid my entire family owes you an apology.” Lucas looked at her with genuine remorse. “Please know before I explain, that my mother-in-law never meant to hurt you. She only wanted what she thought was best but did not stop to consider the ramifications of her actions.”

  “I had no idea that I was corresponding with her and not you.” The last thing she wanted was for him to think she had known and participated in the deception.

  “Mother Louisa explained everything to me. Unfortunately, I was not made aware of any of these plans until yesterday so I could not put a stop to them.”

  “That’s what I don’t understand. If you did not wish to marry me, why were we still walking to the church? Was anyone going to tell me?” She tried to disguise the hurt she felt.

  “When we got to the church, I was going to tell you once we could have a moment alone. Please believe that I did not want to deceive you. Had I know Mother Louisa’s plan on time, I never would have gone along with it. I have no tolerance for deception and I honestly feel terrible about this.”

  Noelle looked up at him, making eye contact. Contriteness filled those emerald eyes, and she believed he was completely truthful. “What do we do now?”

  “It is true that I had no desire to marry again. The pain of losing one wife was almost more than I could endure. However, I’ve been negligent in regards to seeing Mollie’s needs. Every little girl should have a mother and it would be wrong of me to deny her that based on selfish reasons. But if we marry, I must make clear that my heart is closed off to love.”

  Noelle struggled to stop more tears from falling. She was being offered the family she desperately wanted, but she didn’t think she could marry if there were no chance of her love being returned. “I’ve spent more than half of my life being shuffled, never belonging or being wanted. I’m sorry, Lucas, but I don’t think I can marry you. When I came here, it was under different assumptions and I’m not sure what I’ll do, but I can’t spend the rest of my life being in a commitment with no chance of being wanted.”

  The tears won and flowed down her ch
eek. She couldn’t believe she was giving up the man she loved and family she wanted.

  ***

  His heart lurched and broke into a million pieces all at the same time. This amazing lady before him deserved so much more than his heart wanted to give. But maybe he could try. He needed to gather his thoughts and runaway emotions.

  “Does your name have a meaning behind it? If I remember correctly, noel is a French word for Christmas, but you’re the first person I’ve ever met with that name.” He needed to bide some time.

  “For many years by parents wanted a child but never were able to conceive. Later in life, I surprised them by coming along and since I was born on Christmas, they named me Noelle.” A bittersweet smile didn’t last long.

  He saw the sadness when she spoke of her parents. “What happened to them?” He had a sudden desire to know this stranger of a woman.

  “When I was only ten years of age they were killed in an accident. My father ran a shipping company and we had a privileged life. One day that all changed when Father took Mother to the docks with him. A new shipment of silks was coming in, and she wanted to see them. There was an explosion that no one was ever able to explain, but my parents were killed instantly.” She paused to wipe a tear.

  “Upon their death, it was made public knowledge that my father had made bad investments that left him highly in debt. I was a penniless orphan being sent to whoever was willing to take me. The latter part of my life has not always been easy, but I’ve been blessed to see my way through. I thought coming to you was going to be my happiness…” She trailed off as though realizing she said too much. Her body leaned away from him, a small physical indication of the emotional distance she was trying to erect.

  Right there, Lucas finally accepted that he did not own tragedy. Noelle had been through her own troubles but hadn’t let it consume her. And with exceptional clarity, he understood how important being accepted and desired was to her.

  “I want you to stay,” he said, verbalizing the conclusion he’d just arrived at. “Mother Louisa and Mollie already love you.” Lucas took a large gulp, disbelieving what he was about to say. “I can’t promise you love, but I will try. We can start as friends and I will open my heart to the possibility of love.”

  Noelle blinked several times, not uttering a word.

  “What do you say, Noelle? Can you forgive us for the hurt we’ve caused you? Will you marry me and allow us to be your family?”

  “Are you certain?” She looked at him with darkened eyes.

  “Yes, my dear. More certain that I’ve been of anything in a long time.”

  “Then I will still marry you, Lucas.”

  Snowflakes began to float down from the sky that turned gray. With her arm through his, they walked to the church where they pledged their vows.

  Chapter Three—The Gift of Love

  Lucas had trudged out in the snow before the sun came up. It was going to be a busy day, but one that he looked forward to. Had it really only been a week since Noelle came into his life? Once he opened his heart to the possibility of love, he’d fallen very quickly.

  But then, Noelle was very easy to love. He’d loved Bessie and always would, but she and Noelle were so different. No, he would not allow himself to continue that train of thought. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone to compare the two. They deserved to be loved for their individual reasons.

  She’d proven to be an interesting blend of personality that would keep him entertained for years to come. A chuckle came out as he thought back to yesterday. His wife had been baking pies in preparation for tomorrow’s Christmas Dinner. Tradition at his ranch was to give Cook Christmas Day off and the lady of the house would prepare a meal for all who worked for him. Mother Louisa had done this the last few years, but Noelle had excitedly taken charge this year.

  The sliced apples resting in a bowl of cinnamon and sugar had looked so tempting that he swiped one. When Noelle saw, she playfully swatted him with a spoon in her hand and in turn he’d wiped the sweet concoction from his finger to Noelle’s nose. They’d both laughed and then he briefly kissed her. Even after their lips parted, he remained there, savoring the sweet scent of her.

  He loved his wife. What a novel concept. He, who had not wanted a wife, who claimed he could never love again, had fallen in love in just a week. Later today he would thank Mother Louisa for her crazy but loving scheme. Without her intervention, he’d never have met Noelle. But first he had to find a tree.

  Later that morning, he returned to his home with the perfect tree in tow.

  “Where is it Pa? Where is it?” Mollie grabbed onto his leg.

  Lucas smiled at his daughter’s joy. “It’s right outside, sweetheart.”

  “Have some coffee and warm up your hands. Then we can bring it in and decorate it.” Noelle handed him a steaming cup.

  When she smiled at him like that, he didn’t even need the hot liquid to warm him up. A look had passed between them before Noelle turned shyly away. Tomorrow, he had a surprise in store for her, but he’d have to get it ready tonight.

  After they had decorated the tree with homespun ornaments and candles, Lucas excused himself to the barn. Three years had passed since he last came to this corner of the barn. The memories had been too much, but he was ready now. He walked the perimeters of the sleigh, trailing his fingers along the smooth red surface. The sleigh was small, made for just two people. Every winter, Bessie and he had enjoyed taking rides throughout the countryside.

  When she died, he put the sleigh away, tucking it into a far corner of the barn. He looked at the bells hanging on the wall and could imagine Noelle’s laughter mixing with them. Just the thought was music to his ears. He began cleaning the sleigh, ridding it of years’ worth of dust.

  “Something told me I might find you out here.” He turned to see Mother Louisa entering this area of the barn. She pulled her cloak tighter around her, warding off the cold.

  “I thought I could take it out tomorrow. It’s been wasting away in here for too long.” He averted her gaze.

  “Does this mean what I think it does?” she asked.

  “You were right. Bessie would want me to love again.” He looked at her. “And I think she would love Noelle also and approve of her to help raise Mollie.”

  “Noelle is everything I thought she would be. Have you forgiven me yet for this old lady’s meddling?”

  His arm wrapped around his mother-in-law’s shoulder. “You’ve always been forgiven, and I owe you thanks for bringing Noelle to me. I love you Mother Louisa—thank you for all you’ve done for Mollie and me.”

  “You’re my family, Son. It’s what anyone would do when they love someone.”

  Chapter Four—Their First Noel

  “Merry Christmas.” The little voice could be heard throughout the house.

  Within minutes, the adults were gathered downstairs.

  “Merry Christmas to you, my sweetheart.” Lucas leaned down and kissed his daughter’s cheek.

  “Can we open present’s now?” Mollie bounced up and down.

  “I don’t see why not.” Lucas winked at Louisa and Noelle.

  Mother Louisa and Mollie went over and sat by the tree while Lucas went to his room and returned with presents. Noelle stood back, watching this family. In the last week, she’d quickly adapted and felt at home, but on this holiday morning she felt like an intruder. Lucas came to her, slipping his arm around her waist.

  “Come join us please.” There was a pleading in his eyes that Noelle was hesitant to interpret as something more.

  Last night, she’d placed the gifts she’d had for the family under the tree. It wasn’t much because she hadn’t had much time nor money, but she wanted to give something. For Mother Louisa, she’d knitted a new scarf and for Mollie a pair of mittens. Her gift for Lucas was very special and she was almost embarrassed to give it. She’d wanted to give him something to show how she felt, that she loved and appreciated him. Knitted stockings didn’t seem to apply, but
she had one thing of value— a pocket watch that was the only thing she’s been able to salvage of her parent’s belongings.

  All the gifts had been opened except for that one. She hadn’t placed it with the others under the tree and it now rested in the pocket of her apron.

  Mollie looked around the tree. “I think that we opened them all.”

  Noelle coughed. “There’s one more.” She handed a small wrapped package to Lucas.

  He gingerly reached out and took it, allowing their fingers to brush. His fingers worked to unwrap the gift. “This is magnificent.” He examined the watch. “This is a fine piece of craftsmanship. Thank you, Noelle. I’ll treasure it always.”

  “It’s not new,” she explained, ashamed to give a used gift. “It belonged to my pa.”

  “That makes it all the more special. And the gift giving still is not over.” He winked. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  He disappeared outside, leaving the women and Mollie alone. Noelle went to work making cinnamon rolls from the dough she’d made yesterday. It was a Christmas morning tradition as a child and she wanted to share it with this new family.

  The door opened and Lucas came back in. With a large grin, he walked over to her, bring her cloak and scarf.

  “Will you join me outside?”

  “Okay.” She agreed, uncertain of what was there, but wishing to have time alone with him.

  Lucas led her outside where a beautiful sleigh was attached to a single horse. “We’re going for a sleigh ride?”

  “But I can’t be gone. I have dinner to prepare and breakfast to finish,” she stammered. Taking a Christmas sleigh ride sounded wonderful and romantic, but she couldn’t just shirk her duties.