When It's Forever Page 5

  Her head jerked as if she were taken aback. “You’re more than I thought you were.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I knew you were a decent guy, but there’s a maturity about you I never realized.”

  He couldn’t stop his laughter. “If that were true, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

  She shook her head. “But you own up to the consequences. Few men would. And what you said about working together, that makes a lot of sense.”

  “So it’s a deal?”

  “It’s a deal.”

  He extended a hand. “Can we shake on it?”

  Accepting his grasp, she smiled. “This should be interesting.”

  “What’s next?”

  “I have another ultrasound in two weeks. If the baby cooperates, I should find out the gender.”

  Emotions he couldn’t describe came alive inside him. “Can I go with you?”

  “I think I’d like that.”

  “How’s the pregnancy been so far? Does everything seem normal?” Since he didn’t know much about pregnancies, that’s all he could think to ask.

  “My blood pressure was high in the beginning, but they put me on a safe medication, and that’s kept it in check. Other than that, everything is fine.”

  “What about the medical costs? I can call and see if I can add you to my insurance.” Once he made the offer, he realized that could get complicated since his new job was a contract working on electrical systems in aircraft and didn’t offer insurance. He was pretty sure he could keep his government insurance for a time, if he paid for it. No matter, he’d paid whatever bills she needed, whatever the cost.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I have a generous insurance plan through my employer with low co-pays.”

  “Let me pay those at least. You shouldn’t have to absorb the entire cost.”

  A spark of trust ignited in her eyes. “How about we alternate?”

  “Never let it be said I can’t compromise.” His respect for her grew, and he found himself curious about the details of her past. What had transpired to make her so independent? And yet convinced her she couldn’t be a good parent?

  Silence fell between them, and Sybil stood. “I should head home. I’m sure you need time to think about all this.”

  “You have my number still, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Call me if anything comes up, and text me all the appointment dates and times that you know, please.” He almost asked her to stay and share a pizza so they could talk and begin the process of knowing each other, but he realized she was right again—he needed time alone.

  One thing she wouldn’t be right about, however, was putting this child up for adoption. He’d fight with everything in him to keep his child.

  He saw Sybil out, then went out back to sit on his deck. After the bombshell Sybil had dropped, the walls closed in on him, and he needed to go somewhere that didn’t restrict him. If ever he needed a drink, now would be that time.

  Flexing his fingers, he fought the urge to call up a buddy and go out. He wouldn’t throw away forty-three days of hard-earned sobriety for one minor incident.

  Okay, so it’s not exactly minor, but I’m still not giving in.

  It would be his luck to have consequences catch up to him after he’d cleaned up his act. Luck has nothing to do with it. He leaned his head back and fixed his gaze on the clear blue sky. Inhaled deeply from his stomach and slowly expelled the air.

  “I’m going to be a dad.”

  The prospect both terrified and thrilled him. What better motivation to keep his life on track? But the responsibility…that daunted him. Was he up to the challenge? He didn’t have a choice in the matter. Like it or not, he had helped create a tiny human life.

  Even now, as he processed what this news meant for him, he knew he wanted this baby. The irony didn’t escape him. He, the man who loved his freedom and didn’t entangle himself with romantic relationships, wanted to fight to keep a child that would involve a lifetime commitment. Surely God had a sense of humor.

  His phone rang, and he remembered he’d never called his mom to let her know he’d made it home. He glanced at the screen, expecting it to be her, but saw Wyatt’s name instead. He breathed a sigh of relief while also experiencing the effects of a punch to the stomach.

  How could he tell his mom and sister? He wasn’t afraid of what they’d think—he’d willingly own his mistakes and take whatever were the results. No, he didn’t want to upset Cara. Life wasn’t fair. He’d done something foolish and now had a baby on the way. Meanwhile, Cara, who deserved the baby she desperately wanted, struggled to have one.

  He clenched a fist and answered the phone. Wyatt’s call came at the perfect time. He needed a friend to confide in and help him sort out this mess. To keep his mind occupied on the problem at hand, so he didn’t cave to temptation and go have a drink.

  Chapter Six

  Sybil accepted Jared’s help to get into his truck. She didn’t need the assistance, but she wouldn’t reject his efforts at being a gentleman. The poor guy’s face displayed such obvious nervousness that she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. His smile barely turned up the corners of his mouth for the tenseness in his jaw.

  “Ever been to an ultrasound?” she asked after they were on the road.

  “Nope.”

  “It’s surreal. You can hear the baby’s heartbeat, and it sounds like a galloping horse.” She loved that sound even more than seeing the tiny body parts on the screen. It meant her baby was alive, and she’d been successful at providing a nurturing environment for its growth.

  He glanced at her. “Does it really?”

  She attempted to draw him into a conversation on several different topics before giving up. His mind focused solely on the appointment, and he couldn’t be distracted.

  After ten minutes of silence, he found his voice. “Where do I turn?”

  “The first light before the mall. Make a left, and then the second right.” She turned her head and caught a glimpse of him chewing on his bottom lip.

  She found his actions endearing. Something about a grown man losing his stoic attitude over an impending ultrasound strummed at her heart chords. It revealed a humility and sensitivity she hadn’t known men were capable of.

  Once they parked, they walked into the busy office. Jared stayed several feet behind her while she checked in. She sensed that was his way of respecting her privacy while still being supportive.

  The receptionist took her insurance card and twenty-dollar copay, then verified her information in the system. “Have a seat, Ms. Hollis, and we’ll call you back shortly.”

  Thirty minutes later, Sybil decided her definition of shortly varied greatly from the receptionist’s. She shifted in the black chair with a thin vinyl cushion. One would think an obstetrician’s office would have comfortable seating for pregnant women.

  At least she had a seat. More patients arrived than were being called back.

  A heavily pregnant woman left the receptionist desk and glanced around with a hand pressed against her back. Would that be her in five months?

  Jared jumped to his feet. “Here ma’am, take my seat.”

  The woman started to shake her head as though about to decline, then smiled. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He walked a few paces and leaned against the lemon-yellow wall.

  The exchange ignited her curiosity. A handful of other men occupied the room, a few that had been closer in proximity to the woman, but none except Jared had offered a seat. Who was this man she’d tied her life to? For better or worse, they’d connected their lives forever. A piece of them would live on in this child whether they raised him or put him up for adoption.

  Forever. A word she knew as much about as raising a child. Everything she’d ever known had been temporary. What did forever even look like?

  Before she could contemplate it further, a nurse in pink scrubs called her name. Jared rejoined her and walked at her side. The nurse led them to a room in the far corner of the back hall, the same one she’d been in for her first ultrasound.

  The nurse asked several questions verifying her identity and input data into a computer. “The technician will be with you shortly.”

  Once she’d left the room, Sybil snorted. “I’ve heard that before.”

  Jared laughed. “Is the wait normally that long?”

  “No. I’ve always been seen within fifteen minutes of my appointment time.” She turned her ear to the door, listening for any sign of approaching footsteps. “But I’ve also never seen it so busy in the waiting area. That was really nice of you to give up your seat.”

  He shrugged. “Any man would have.”

  “There were other men out there who didn’t make a move.”

  “Then they weren’t taught proper manners.” His posture relaxed the longer they were in the room. “Do you think we’re having a boy or girl?”

  “Boy. That’s how I think of him now.” She smiled and rested a hand on her stomach. “I didn’t feel right calling him an it.”

  “I know what you mean.” His gaze traveled to her stomach. “I’m convinced we’re having a boy.”

  His repeated use of we’re having weirded her out, but comforted her at the same time. It was another reminder they were joined together, but also reinforced she didn’t have to go through this alone. With his and Rysa’s help, she could face the future—whatever that meant.

  She looked at the black monitor hanging from an extendable wall mount. “We’ll find out soon if he cooperates.”

  A knock sounded on the door, and then the technician opened the door. A spurt of happiness opened in her when she recognized the same lady from last time. As silly as it sounded, Heidi reminded Sybil of her third-grade math teacher. They both had gentle spirits and kind eyes that didn’t judge.

  During the last ultrasound, Heidi had put her completely at ease and showed no condemnation when Sybil had slipped that she wasn’t married, nor was she in a relationship with the father. She’d explained each step of the process as she performed the task, so Sybil understood what was happening.

  “Good to see you again, Sybil.” Heidi greeted her with a smile. “Have you been doing okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Any problems you wish to discuss with Dr. Foster after we’re done?”

  “No. I’m sure he’s sick of seeing me already.”

  “Never.” Heidi flicked a button, and the monitor turned on. “He’s delivered all four of my babies, and I couldn’t recommend a better OB.”

  “He’s been great.”

  Heidi turned to Jared and offered a hand. “I’m Heidi, one of the ultrasound technicians for the clinic.”

  “Jared Scott.” He dashed a brief glance at Sybil. “The father.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Heidi tugged a pair of medical gloves over her hands. “Let’s get started. Ready to check on the baby?”

  “Yes.” Her heart rate accelerated, and she silently willed it to slow down so it wouldn’t overpower hearing the baby’s. If that was even possible.

  “If I can tell the gender, would you like to know?”

  She looked at Jared and grinned. “Absolutely.”

  Heidi smiled. “I shouldn’t say this, but I love when my patients want to know. Otherwise, I’m always afraid I’ll accidentally slip and tell.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that with us. We definitely want to know.”

  “I need you to lay back and pull your shirt up. Like last time, I’ll have to apply a special gel, but it’s warmed for you.”

  Sybil did as she’d instructed and took a deep breath while staring at the ceiling. The gel, though warm, still felt cool against her skin. Seconds later, the doppler pressed into her stomach. The sound of swishing filled the room.

  “This little one’s hiding.” Heidi moved the device around until the telltale beat echoed off the walls. “There it is. Sounds good.”

  Jared stared at Sybil in wide-eyed awe. “That’s our baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. It’s incredible.” His hand wrapped around hers.

  She made no move to break the touch. It seemed right to share a physical connection during this intimate time.

  Heidi continued with her job, drawing lines on the image and marking measurements. “Baby looks great and is measuring right on track at eighteen weeks.”

  Sybil let out a relieved sigh. Each trip to the doctor held a small negative thought that something would go wrong. “Oh, good.”

  “Are you ready to hear the gender?”

  “Yes,” she and Jared said at the same time, then laughed at the enthusiasm they’d answered with.

  “You’re having a girl.”

  Her jaw dropped. A girl. She’d been convinced the baby was a boy. Visions of lacy pink outfits and bows materialized. Would she take after her or Jared? Or be a combination of them both?

  Overwhelmed tears leaked out. She turned her head to see Jared’s reaction. If she wasn’t mistaken, there was moisture in his eyes as well.

  “A baby girl,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

  With a sinking feeling, she realized he’d never sign the adoption papers. But now that the baby had a gender to go with her heartbeat, it made the pregnancy that much more personal. Could she still do the right thing and give her baby girl a better life? Could she go through life, always wondering what her little girl looked like and what she enjoyed playing with?

  Stay strong, Sybil. Emotions aren’t helpful when making decisions.

  She forced all those questions aside. For now she wanted to enjoy the moment. Jared’s hand still held hers, and while she didn’t want to lose that contact, she had no choice. She glanced at his hand. “I need to clean off my stomach.”

  “Oh, sorry.” He jerked his hand away, looking embarrassed with a downcast gaze.

  The loss of his touch combined with the poignancy of the moment left her raw. She took the rags Heidi handed her and cleaned the gel from her stomach then lowered her shirt.

  A line of images printed from a machine. Heidi tore off the first five and placed them in the file folder. She separated the remaining four and handed two to her and the other two to Jared. “A memento of your visit today.”

  “Thank you.” She couldn’t help looking at them before placing them securely in her purse. Girl popped off the paper.

  Dare she allow herself to think of a name?

  “She looks like you,” Jared said as they walked to his truck.

  “You’re just saying that.” Still, the nonsensical comment brought a smile to her face. She pictured a small infant with downy-soft dark hair lying in a crib.

  “Maybe.” He winked, then cleared his throat. “But she’ll be beautiful if she takes after you.”

  Her cheeks warmed. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and saw he’d been serious, not making a joke. “Thanks.”

  “Can I make a confession?”

  “I guess.” Her mind raced with the possible scenarios, and she almost missed his admission.

  “Is it me, or does she look like an alien?” he asked with a solemn, concerned expression.

  She burst into laughter. “That’s normal at this phase in the sonograms.”

  He emitted a low whoosh. “So everything is fine with her?”

  “According to the doctor and tech, she’s perfectly normal.”

  “Good.” He stopped in front of the passenger door and opened it. “I mean, I’d love her just the same even if she wasn’t. I didn’t mean for it to come across otherwise.”

  “I know.” And in her heart, she did.

  After he’d taken his seat and started the truck, he looked at her. “Are you hungry? We can stop for lunch before we head home.”

  “I’m pregnant. Hunger comes with the territory.”

  “What is our little girl in the mood for?”

  “Hmm.” She stared down at her belly. “What do you think, little girl? Oh? Is that right? Anything but Mexican? All right, I’ll let your daddy know.”

  Jared chuckled. “That narrows it down.”

  “Do you know what I really want? A fried egg sandwich and a plate full of hash browns.” Now that she’d thought of it, nothing else sounded satisfying. It had to be one of those pregnancy cravings everyone mentioned because she hadn’t had an egg sandwich in years. Her mom made them several nights a week because they were cheap and easy, and after Sybil had moved out, she’d vowed never to eat another.

  “I know the perfect place if you don’t mind riding twenty minutes.”

  “Fine with me.” She adjusted her position and tried to find a comfortable spot. Why didn’t I suck up my pride and wear the maternity pants? “Where’s it at?”

  “A few miles past our neighborhood on a back road. You’d miss it if you didn’t know it was there.”

  Dare she ask? Would he honor her request without asking questions that had embarrassing answers? “Would it be too much trouble to stop by my house first?”

  “Not at all.” His eyes narrowed and immediately filled with concern. “Everything fine? We don’t have to go eat.”

  “I want to change real quick.” Bashfulness came over her, and she answered him with a downcast gaze. “I, um, thought I could still get away with wearing my regular pants. My stomach’s letting me know that was a false assumption.”

  She detected a smirk, but to his credit, he didn’t comment other than to say, “No problem.”

  When he parked in her driveway, she ran inside and rushed to change. The maternity jeans were strewn over her bed where she’d left them earlier in disdain. She tugged off her regular pants and tossed them in the hamper. When she slipped on the elastic-waisted pants with the stretchy fabric that covered her daily-growing stomach, her body thanked her.

  “Much better.” She turned off the bedroom light, locked the house and met Jared again in the truck.

  His lips twitched, and he scratched his cheek.

  Self-conscious now, she pulled down the visor and examined her face. Nothing stuck out at her. Did she have half her shirt tucked in by accident? She looked down. Nope. “What is it?”

  He averted his gaze and ran a hand along the back of his neck. “The tags are still on.”